Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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