How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
then he tried to convert me to islam
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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