she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
