I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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