i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
