only if we run a train.
done.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
