Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
this hospital has no fireball
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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