I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
someone owes me an orgasm
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Green mimosas i think yes
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
