This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize