Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
