Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
