Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
