when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
