She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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