i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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