oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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