why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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