They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize