just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
