I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
