how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
accomplished twins. life is a go
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
