Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
