The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Randomize
