Pregnant stripper...not hot.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
