Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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