You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
