so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
