Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize