did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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