so let's talk penis.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
