he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
So. Much. Porn.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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