dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
