Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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