You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
