thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
