My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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