Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
