So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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