That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You ate ashes out of my bong
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
