i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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