If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize