I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
