im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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