Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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