I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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