i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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