This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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