Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
