I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
