So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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