Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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