i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
