someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
