Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
