I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
