So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
