There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
