dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
