brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
