You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
