I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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