he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize