my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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